c'est une vie pleine de mystère; it's a life full of mystery. Cheers rich :)

So it's been a good week so far! Especially now I have treated myself to a navigo which is the parisian oyster card basically!

This time last year the oyster card was quite exciting as it was a sign I was somewhere new (made me feel like a proper Londoner haha) but this the navigo...well I got a pass to the city of Paris now that is like a dream come true! I have survived the last month without one and it's not top of my list of expenditures really but now I've got it it's super useful!

Anyway let's look back to the weekend! I was doing my house/dog/chicken/children sitting and the Friday night was sans children so it was a chilled affair

Do they look relaxed to you?



and then I collected the boys from their 'tata's' down the road on the Saturday afternoon. I had to go to the bank so I went via the centre of Esbly as I needed to collect my 'carte bleu' (debit card) from the bank. There's no posting cards here. As I stood outside the bank I had an epiphany...oh crap I'm on my own, I don't speak much French and I have to go in to the bank where i know they speak no english and ask them for my bank card. Well it's got to be done so I stood outside going over and over in my head what i needed to roughly say (from my limited French vocabulary) strolled in, apologised in French that my French wasn't very good, told them I had recently opened an account and was there to collect my carte bleu. Then waited for the 'huh?' look I often get.

The assistant said "d'accord" went to her draw, fetched my card and some forms, told me what I needed to sign and where (all in French and I got it all right; go me!!!) and c'est ca! I now have a debit card, my first months wage slip and the money was in my account. Genial!

It was extremely hot so saturday with the boys was easy enough, we chilled at home and played in the garden with the dogs, watched a movie and then came the fun part... Bedtime. I sent them off to bed with a 'I will be doing lights out in 30 minutes'. Then headed back downstairs and stuck on the sky box and settled down to watch something a bit more in keeping with my age. Like friends. Good to see whilst I'm out the country E4 hasn't changed. Now it's worth noting at this point that France don't do sky, if you want sky in France you have to buy it through a company who will arrange for you to have it registered to some imaginary address in say Spain et voila, you have sky.

I could watch French tv but I wouldn't understand it and it was my relaxing Saturday night in. At this point I decided I wanted to make a drink so stood up to make my way to the kitchen. The fact the boys were quiet hadn't occurred to me and so i shouldnt have been suprised when i nearly tripped over two giggling bodies who were lying sas style on the floor by the door to the front room.

Guys go to Bed.......

So off they went banging up the stairs and then treading more softly whilst shouting "night Karen"

Now we have all been less than 10 years old, I wasn't buying it.

I counted to 30 and poked my head round the door... Sure enough my living draughts excluders had returned so I threatened to shave 5 minutes off lights out time and then packed them off for the night for good.

They were actually pretty good boys. It's quite an old house and over 4 levels so I could be forgiven for feeling a bit lost rattling round in it but it was nice, I don't scare easily.... That is until night 2 when the boys were home and one of them had a nightmare and came crashing down the stairs in the small hours of Sunday morning.

Honestly it was like a scene out of paranormal activity! With me sitting bolt upright in bed thinking "Jesus what the hell was that??!" (not terribly religious can you tell..)

No contact lenses in so i couldn't see a thing and could just hear this banging and crashing then make out this shape coming down the stairs...when I'd settled him back to sleep my heart returned to normal pace and I got another couple of hours.

Sunday morning I woke up quite early and was happily reading my book when I heard movement upstairs, ah boys are up! I went downstairs and sorted out the dogs, then went down the garden and sorted out the various aviaries of chicks, chickens and canaries. Then sorted out the finch room. Still no sign....

Then I had breakfast, switched the rugby on, did some lesson planning for next week, cleaned up... then decided they really ought to come down.

Thinking I had slept in (something parents don't do) I was greeted with:

"Karen we have been up AGES!!!"

"I know" I said.

Then proceeded to reel off the list of things I had done

"and now you guys are up so I'm going to do your breakfast!"

That quietened them pretty quickly! I knew what they had for breakfast so when they told me what mum normally makes them they were a bit stumped to see I had it out already. However of course I did it slightly different to her but it tasted okay... Kids :)

After breakfast we spent the day adventuring, following woodland trails around the canals





before stopping for a picnic at Ponte bateau, playing on the fitness circuit and then heading home as the weather was incredibly hot!



Slow coaches allez!



Chins!!! Starting them young; Or just trying to knacker them out...



Zoe and Thierry were back mid afternoon having had a lovely time and so the rest of the afternoon and evening was spent out on the terrace chatting, looking through their photos and eating. Perfect! The boys were really really good and I am happy to report I definitely knackered them out first and not vice versa ha! Plus they mostly want to know when I'm coming bak to look after them again. In response to an evening of 'oh mum and dad are home' misbehaviour Thierry threatened to go back to Amsterdam...apparently the threat didn't work as they said they'd be happy to have me back. Sorry guys :)

I headed home at dark to a message from Michelle telling me she was going to be coming back from the weekend at her boyfriends in Paris a day early so the rest of Sunday night was spent randomly gossiping with Michelle and watching Tangled. We are grown ups you know!

Monday arrived rapidly after the eventful weekend so monday heralded my return to a day of sport, English and drama. Monday passed pretty easily and drama went really well! The kids really listened and responded so well to the task I had set them. It's amazing how many things a piece of purple cloth can become with a little imagination, especially when the imagination belongs to an under 10 year old and you times it by the 12 I had in my class.

I was extremely excited about Monday evening though because I had a plan! Straight after work Michelle and I headed off to Chessy so I could get my navigo decouverte. The Parisian oyster card I mentioned earlier. These are actually easier to get than an oyster card as there are no forms to fill out. You buy the little pack they give you, stick your own photo on, seal it down et voila! My pass to the ile de france region is ready! It's always very exciting swiping something new for the first time so I swiped and we hopped on to the RER to Val d'Europe.

I look like a criminal:



First stop... A phone! I'd like to take the credit for asking for it but Michelle was with me...mishy your French is awesome tell her I want one of those please :)

I have deliberately left the French settings on it too:



So I now had my navigo carte, my telephone mobicarte and all that was left was to ignore the rows and rows of shops and take Michelle for her first trip to Auchan!

Oh this place is amazing and food shopping is always so much more exciting when you are abroad as it feels like you are on holiday. An hour later we came emerged from the shopping centre, but not before we'd discovered that you can get orange and lemon coke out here. I don't drink coke but new things are always interesting!



Steak is massive, lovely and cheap!!



And they sell honey with guarana in (well it interested me). Personally I'm still in love with the coffee bags. Like tea bags only for coffee..so simple so genius. Don't even get me started on the fresh fruit and veg they sell EVERYTHING I don't even recognise half the veg!

Between us it came to next to nothing and the food we had was of the most amazing quality. The steak we had for dinner was possibly one of the best I have ever had, no fat, no gristle and a ridiculous size which is awesome considering it worked out at just over a Euro per steak!

So tuesday i decided another post work adventure was in order but obviously i had work to go through first... As always new day, new hilarity.

Now I have spent the last month covering the basics of athletics so now I'm combining the skills together more somewhat (1. This will help with co-ordination skills required for next term when it's ball sports! God help me...) 2. plus i'm preparing to pool all this together with a mini class Olympics the last week before they break up.

Anyway this week one of the things I have been covering is sprinting technique and relay races which is where the fun begins. I am getting a lot better at explaining the task at hand to the children, I also have enough of their respect in that they now listen to me!

So relay races went without a hitch the tiniest are getting great at lining up and all was good...until one of the little space cadets I mentioned in my last blog took his turn. All the children had to do when they received their baton was run a few meters to a cone, run round the cone, run back, pass the baton to the next person et voila. Easy yes? Oh no... Said slightly spaced out child took the baton, ran to the cone, so far so good... I was observing the rest of the line to make sure the child that had finished was going to the back and sitting down and not causing any problems en route when I suddenly noticed the volume of shouting had gone up.

I turned round to see this child standing over the cone, trying to poke the baton through the hole in the top of it. Mortified his team mates were desperately yelling for him to run back, the other team were in their element and now a child ahead in the race but still the little one was away with the fairies dancing round the cone and trying to fit the baton in to the top of it.

When he FINALLY looked up the other children stopped shouting and stood there mouths agog as he suddenly started making motor car noises and SLOWLY started driving the baton back to the line holding it out in front of him like a steering wheel and going 'vroom vrooom' No one made a sound his team mates just stood there mouths open in disbelief.

I couldn't even look at the head mistress she was crying with laughter as much as I was.

I spend so much of my day laughing I fear the only way this job will age me will be some serious laughter lines. I also finally decided that i could divulge one of the conversations we had in the English room one lunchtime because it was clean enough... The jokes we tell though will never be aired on here ;)

So picture the scene, sat at our little desks marking work and planning lessons sat on our tiny primary school children chairs when suddenly Chris the head of English randomly pipes up:

Chris: what do you call a group of beavers
Me: a good time?
Chris: nooooo im sure it's something funny look it up!

---- quick google search ----

Me: a colony
Chris: oh maybe it's otters, what do you call a group of otters?
Me: not such a good time?
Chris: no look it up!!!

---- quick google search ----

A ROMP!!!

Its true!!! I think they heard us laughing in Spain.

I was glad for the laugh Tuesday as there are things on the sidelines in my life which hurt me deeply at times and make some of the moments out here not so fun BUT whatever the outcome these things are only for now and if you want to read a depressing blog go on an emo site.

Why am I refusing to acknowledge the sad bits? Because whilst they may play on my mind for a good 18 of the 24 hours in a day I'm alive (and awake) they are about as massive as the time it takes in a day to brush my teeth. Recently for example I received a message that hurt me so badly someone may have walked up and stabbed me directly through the heart. I took a deep breath after all I have a job to do and you are never fully dressed without a smile then went to the canteen for lunch duty. I was sat staring at the table trying to muster the energy to get me through the afternoon and giving myself a severe talking to when two little girls from the older class came skipping over and presented me with this:



Giggling they said

"karrrrren eets fur you fee clochette! (tinkerbell in French) aaand we peeeeked deeese fur you"

I bent down to receive them and they both kissed me on the cheek then went back giggling to their seats.

I didn't know what to say.

But how can I consider being sad about ANYTHING!

The next day more pressies followed.

A random collection of hearts and a purple testicle in a granny wig. (it's not it's actually a balloon filled with sand with wool stuck on it. Nope I have no idea either but it's the thought that counts!)



I'm lying it's actually a stress ball, which funnily enough is made by one of the children who has the attention span of a gnat when in class which frustrates me no end!

So Tuesday I decided post work there would be more adventuring and armed with my carte bleu, phone and navigo I was going to brave the hairdressers...the hairdressers decided they weren't going to brave me though and said I'd have to return in the morning (boo hiss) which meant instead whilst waiting for my next bus home I killed time in the Disney village. Having to battle pirates and princesses to browse around your local shop is hilarious. It has to be said! All the beautiful Christmas stuff is now present in the Disney shops so I ambled round with mixed feelings as I was on my own

I wish to god I had someone with me to be the voice of reason before this carte bleu gets used...

I feel like I'm cheating on my parents and Michelle

Um wished you were there guys :)

Now despite being told to return to the hairdressers on this evening I hiked over to Val for nada so decided to go back first thing in the morning. I was feeling brave. Wednesday I got up and headed back to Val d'europe to see if I couldn't get these hideous roots sorted out!

Now i gathered they weren't the friendliest salon ever and noooo English was spoken but I tried...

"parlez-vous Anglais?"
"non" (definitely no smile)
"ah d'accord, pardon...." I had gone over and over this in my head... "um (same in all languages) Est ce que je peut avoir un appointment aujord hui?"
"oui" still no smile
"genial! (so here we go, explanation time) Je besoin ma racines (furiously pointing at my roots, here it is worth noting that the french word for roots le 'racines' is pronounced the same as le 'raisins which is french for 'grapes' same word different spellings/meanings oh god I'm never going to get this language) ....comme ca!

At this point the photo of me with my hair from the last time it was just done got produced and I furiously pointed at that.

You wouldn't have to be able to speak at all to get that I was gesticulating wildly at the variants in colour on my poor abused hair.

Yes I want my roots like this photo (comme ca!!!) and my cheveux, blonde, le raisin..le meme chose... They should be the same!!!!!

I think she understood.

Now i have been warned about hairdressers over here. My first panic came when she sat me down and applied this slightly brown in colour paste to it. In England bleach is purple... I'd discovered the lady in the chair next to me spoke English, she had started chatting to me in french and then was excited to learn I was English so she told me I was really pretty, looked like tinker bell and could she practise her English on me. Love for those compliments you can say what you like! So I used English lady to check what on earth they were doing and all was ok. For now.

When it came time to wash the bleach off I was not convinced...they hadn't used much and it took about 10 minutes to apply it whereas in the UK it took at least 30 mins they were really careful and here I was watching my roots going orange not yellow.

Sure enough when they washed my hair off I noticed a small crowd of hairdressers gathering round me and whispering "trop jeune, trop jeune!!"

Eventually I turned round and spoke to them in French just to let them know I could understand what they were saying! Basically they were reaming out because my hair had gone too yellow.

Now I'm not a hairdresser but after 2 years of this haircut even I know BLEACH DOES THAT!!! it doesn't make it platinum that's what toner is for. Who is the hairdresser here??!! Then they explained they'd have to use something on it to take the yellow out...

Yes I know that's what I asked for when I came in here!!! Honestly, right now I had visions of losing all my hair. Sure enough they bought another bottle out and I recognised the familiar smell of toner. Normally couple of minutes of toner, it gets washed off... Job done.

10 minutes later I'm still sat there. If you leave toner on too long it is basically a blue rinse so I glance around to see where my hairdresser has gone...she is stood outside having a fag and playing on the phone! I know she's having a fag because right by the door which is wide open and she is blowing smoke all over me, they do this out here, they smoke and they smoke all over you!!! At this point I start wondering which was the lesser of two evils blue roots or yellow roots?

Even the washing of my hair was an experience, she tried to ask me a question, however I couldn't hear her she had literally filled my ears with water!

Somehow when the ordeal was over it actually turned out fine and cost me at least £40 less than it would have done in the UK! This replaced the horror I had endured and the only reminder of the experience was the squelch of water as I inserted my earphones back in to my ears.

I had a couple of hours at school in the afternoon as was running a dance workshop (boys v girls and I had the boys...) SOMEHOW in 40 mins I had them doing an entire routine to 'shake your tail feather' the boys love a bit of twisting apparently! Even the teaching assistants wanted to know how I'd managed it, how did I tame the boys into a routine?! They were actually quite well behaved, only a bit of slapping and shouting...that was just me ;)

Job done I then flew out of school, onto the bus and off to my next jaunt....dinner with friends in Paris!!!

So this was my first jaunt out to Paris with my navigo... So an hour after I left school I emerged at Anvers underneath the sacre couer. I could not stop smiling as I text my mum to say

"hi mum texting you from my new French phone whilst strolling up the butte of Montmartre to meet friends on the steps of the sacre couer. I like this life I think I'll keep it".

I couldn't not smile to myself as this place has possibly one of my favourite views of Paris and all I had to do to experience it, was leave work. That is almost too amazing for me to comprehend still.



I also had time for a quick wander round the sacre coeur. Now you aren't supposed to take photos but here is a peak of the ceiling. I personally find the basilica far more beautiful than notre dame



It felt very romantic to meet on the steps and It was so good to see old friends from Devon here, familiar faces in a new country and we had a fantastic evening. We had dinner at the place du tertre, shared a small caraf of red and just laughed and before we knew it we were at the gare de l'est and it was time to say goodbye, we joked about no teary partings but I was in too high spirits to be sad and I couldn't not smile on the train all the way home. Which is where I wound up 30 minutes later. Too perfect.

Okay so that has pretty much been my week. It has now been almost a fortnight of full teaching days and I am starting to feel it, I am definitely tired but the mornings are darker and also today was very overcast and by god did it rain which scuppered my lesson plans somewhat:

Throwing it down was an understatement:



So it was an impromptu indoor session instead which involved an obstacle course using gym equipment which proved to Be a big hit!



My afternoon was apparently decidedly better than my colleagues however who had the tinies for art. We blame the asparagus served at lunch but in the end a window was opened in the classroom on account of the children being extremely full of hot air for the lesson. By the end of the day after 'windy gate' as we shall call it and me having them sweat it up with 45 minutes of dance (today I would mostly like to thank MJ as we are working on a routine to Thriller) in the same room. Chris declared the room was not smelling its best So I shall not look forward to that tomorrow morning!

I also have a good friend arriving for the weekend so I better get my washing etc done and think about next weeks lessons that way it's no concern over the weekend. I'm a little later to sit down tonight than normal because Michelle and I arrived home to find our landlady had laid out the table and made us a cottage pie with tiramisu to follow! Table all laid it was very civilised, we laughed as she produced a bottle of wine from the fridge which she said she hoped we would enjoy and when we looked it was actually a particular brand which we have bought previously from the local shop.

I laughed and commented on this only for Anne to say 'yes I asked the guy in the shop and he said is it for 2 English girls one blonde, one brunette? Ah they have that one...'

I'm pretty sure it's only been twice in 4 weeks!!!!! Ah the embarrassment.

Anyway so I'm getting ready for my partner in crimes imminent arrival tomorrow afternoon, not going to lie I'm very excited about this, for one this dude is always there for me so he deserves to come out here and find me in a. Good mood as mostly I have just moped on him for the last few months and also he is my first official visitor to this country. I love Paris and I love to share it! also on the Saturday night I had out with the guys the other week I felt so happy and so alive and I'm definitely keen for another weekend of that. To just abandon the iPhone at home and just....be! Oh and Of course see where the weekend/night takes me.

One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower as Hans Christian Anderson said. Or actually to quote a rather lovely new guy I have met:

"Chin up my dear noob parisienne, c'est une vie pleine de mystère, de challenge, de bonheur et de beauté si seulement on peut prendre le temps de l'en croire, et d'avoir du foi en nous-mêmes....."

Beautiful :)

Anyway a girly night in awaits, i have just heard michelle say in passing she has been propositioned with an english teaching job which is fine... But she has been told that the guy is 'retarded' (im sure that words been and gone...) but as he is difficult she has permission to be strict, fine. If he is out of order she has permission to discipline him; fine. If he is really out of order she has permission to humiliate him (at this point she is thinkig errrm what?) and apparently if he is REALLY out of order she can beat him!!!

Intrigued.com I need to hear more...

So there's a mishy moo, a Sasha and a glass of rosé plus season 1 of scrubs on DVD with french subtitles awaiting me and if I stand on my tip toes I can see the weekend from here!



Bon weekend tout le monde xxx

Il y a un singe Qui vole dans l'arbre (there's a flying monkey in the tree)

I'm procrastinating... Well I was, now I'm writing my blog for the week.

I'm sat at Zoes house as she is off on a surprise weekend for her birthday (first weekend without the kids ever!!) and so I'm house/dog/chicken/children sitting. So I'm on my usual spot on her beautiful balcony looking across the French countryside and trying to play with the dogs at the same time. Except Dobby who wants cuddles so I am obliging and trying to type this one handed

Aaaaaaaaah dobby being a love



Been quite a lot going on this week but the main event for sure has been the weather! It's been amazing probably the hottest week I've known all year so I've been out in it catching a tan.... Well, working, honest (allegedly)

It's meant I could be outside at le stade so I have spent my days chasing the children round the track in the sunshine and in-between classes sunbathing on the steps and watching the lizards cgreep round me. Heaven.

Okay these are super blurry but here are some pics of my little lézards! (pronounced 'lazerrrrr, the French don't do the letter 'd')

The brown blur...



blurry little lizard face or an out of focus velociraptor...



Hideous place to work and not a cloud in the sky:



Anyway I guess I'll go back to Monday which seems an age away! It's been a particularly long week as this week the extra workshops started so I now have an extra 4 hours dance and drama on top of my daily teaching schedule. So Monday saw me doing my PE lessons nothing new there same ol same ol and then there was drama... I have to say there are a minority of children in the school who would make you look at the list of enrolees and make you think...oh no.... I had them ALL across all my workshops. Whoop ;)

Anyway drama, this was definitely not the easiest as I had a couple of boys I'd particularly like to lynch at the best of times let alone ones who are in a class that is extra curricular and that their parents signed them up for. The class actually went really well but by god did I have a headache when I got home! Its tough teaching kids anyway, but children who don't speak your language doing drama? It was interesting, so I chose lots of physical exercises which were easy to comprehend by demonstration I spend a lot of my week miming and asides the noise levels...I think they went pretty well!

Tuesday was a fairly bog standard day nothing out of the ordinary here and then it was Wednesday! I only work a couple of hours on Wednesday but had to go in earlier this week to cover a class for one of the teachers. So here is where I would like to publicly apologise to my colleague, roomie and lovely friend Michelle for letting her painstakingly get the children in and quietly settled in their chairs knowing full well I was going to ask them to stand up again.

I don't know I'm going to be allowed to forget this one for a while.

I did an hour of active English games with them which went down a treat before taking a couple of hours out which gave me time to plan for the afternoons dance workshop. 3 hours and a smooth criminal routine later my dancers were good to go!

All work and no play and that I had a different evening lined up this day... I dashed home, changed and headed off with the Chief (Shawn) for a spot of golf at the Disneyland course and we spent the evening in the beautiful sunshine on the driving range and it was just amazing I really enjoyed it (better at golf than throwing an American football anyway) and it was such a relaxing way to spend an evening!

Me killing a golfball!



To the smart arse who upon seeing this pic remarked I had next to noooo torso rotation I will happily remind; I BROKE MY SPINE IN 2 PLACES!!!! I'm lucky to have got thorough it with nothing but a little flexibility issue ;) it's nice I'm technically a cripple but you'd never know so I clearly do an awesome job of hiding it

Shawn about to properly murder a golf ball with far more style!



We played until it was too dark to make the golf balls out much anymore (he does have fluorescent ones though for night time playing but not much use when you can't see the holes haha) and had a few practises shots on the putting green...I got very excited about the putting green as instantly recognised it was in the shape of the main mouse himself! A mickey mouse face shaped putting green AWESOME it's the little things.

Talking of things that are good in France I had to have a medical this week to prove I was fit to work. This was held in a little van in Esbly and was an interesting experience as I had to deal with a receptionist who was blatantly put out by my lack of French and didn't help me one iota by speaking as fast as she could and even though I used the French alphabet to sound off letters to her to help her spell things I had said that she didn't understand; I swear to god she was deliberately spelling it wrong and it was exasperating, she absolutely didn't want to listen and if there are 2 things I have no problem with in French, it's my alphabet and my numbers! I knew I wasn't just being paranoid when i called Michelle into help. Now Michelle has been in Paris for 2 years and her French is really good... But even for her she was ignoramously misspelling everything she said. The woman also kept changing the words she'd use to describe things which didn't help. She asked me one question several times over and i just couldn't understand her. When michelle came in she rephrased the question totally differently and it was always using a word I understood!!! Why do they do that???? Its so frustrating I'm really struggling with the language.

When michelle went in for her check up and i was in the waiting room this woman sat opposite me and proceeded to babble away to me in French. I apologised and said i was english, didn't understand her and didn't speak french. The woman paused a second, told me she didn't speak english and proceeded to just babble away in French to me anyway, laughing at her own jokes. I just smiled, nodded a lot and pretended the sign which just said 'please be seated and the doctor will see you soon' was reeeeeally interesting. Anyway after these two characters the doctor however was lovely with his big curly grey Einstein style moustache, he spoke clearly so even though he said everything in French I understood all questions! And the one i didn't get he said "ah google is mah frrriend" and got google translate up on his laptop!

"did I ever feel faint...."

Afterwards Michelle sat and marvelled at my fitness results because they were superb (but then I'm the sports teacher, would have been a poor show if they weren't)! Mind you I think it is well worth mentioning that the French diet is rather good for you. On paper it doesn't sound it I mean I have been living off eggs, the odd salad, fruit, ham (so far so good) cheese, pate (hmmm not top of the brilliant fats list) butter, a variety of sauces and wait for it; White bread and pasta!

Most my PT mates are probably shaking their heads in horror right now however, I sleep easily, I sleep well, I wake easily and well, indigestion is but a distant memory, no IBS problems at all stomach feels really good, my blood pressure is a little higher which is AWESOME as forever it has been dangerously low, my resting heart rate is back to where it was when I was at the peak fitness for marathon training (aiming for a 3:30 finish) and I have dropped weight. To be fair I'm chasing children all day but asides my little virus the other week I feel awesome and I can't quite believe how my body is doing!!! I very rarely do this but for the folks who are probably envisioning me turning into a living skeleton... Nope.

Happy with that (pure vanity!)



I haven't even really trained asides the odd jog for about two months now! Hmmm maybe there is a lot to be said for sticking to the same training over and over again (go in, do weights, do cardio, go home...) so always dare to be different!

I had to shoot back to school after the medical and leg it straight back to sport (there's been a lot of dashing round this week!) this didn't change when at the end of the day I had my English enrichment lesson (children are doing really well so I ruined their day by telling them I wanted to do an exam next week to review unit 1) then soon as this lesson was over (quick boys v girls game if hangman to finish)I had dance so once again i ran back to the English classroom as I had 15 minutes to change this:



Into this!



Voila a dance studio!

Dance went really really well, the children were hilarious I mean out here they love Lady Gaga and Michael Jackson so I picked stuff I hoped they would like...I have been down with the kids and downloaded some Justin Bieber tracks and much to the disgust of my two colleagues we are now all walking round humming "baby baby baby...." I only have to walk past Chris and do a quick "woah woah wooooah woah" and when he has finished swearing at me we all sit there and go "actually it's quite catchy" but it got so bad it got to the point when we were sat in the classroom together working then one of us would just start humming it and we aren't even aware we are doing it till someone in the room either tells that person to shut up or throws something at them.

Guilty pleasures, a bit of NKOTB found it's way onto my iPod this week, I was walking through Montry on my own on my way home the other night when "step by step ooooh baaaaaabbbyyyyy" burst into my ears. I just stood there and laughed out loud. I probably looked incredibly insane but I was tickled.

Anyway the First few tracks went down well with my little ones then

"oh I don't liiiiiiike Usher"

uh oh fail.... Until the hypocrites started singing along to it at the top of their voices. Don't like him eh?

Same for Justin Bieber, so much for oh they will like this...

It was like a classroom of mini Andys from little Britain.

"I don't like it...."

Then the chorus kicked in and I was deafened by...

"BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

Then when it finished all I got was "karrreeeennn Caaaan weeee hav-a tat song AGAAAAAAAAAAIIINNNNN PLEEEEEEAAAAAASE?!

Oh i dont know, you guys don't like Justin Bieber.....

OoooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase.

Exactly.

Fickle bunch.

But the workshops were a success (bar the girl who sat in the corner and cried for the entire time because her mum signed her up for it and she didn't want to do it). She's one of the children that is what I would class as 'away with the fairies' or a bit of a space cadet. Lovely lovely children but some you can call their names till you are blue in the face and they will still be staring at that same spot on the floor, circling it and giggling to themselves. Theres one child i have nicknamed Taz because basically they have to be a relative, I mean we were sat discussing this when on lunch duty and turned round to look to see where said child was only to find them with their head cocked to one side, mouth open as wide as they could, eyes crossed and trying to fit their spoon in their mouth sideways.

There's never a dull moment! Mind you I have got to report back to Michelle who thought this child might be colour blind (they are a particularly tricky little student but if there's a genuine problem it cannot be ignored) so I had set up a colour recognition exercise in sport today and warned my assistant we thought their may be a colour blindness issue so wasn't going to penalise them for it (the game involved basically being 'out' if you ran to the wrong colour...) and I have to say there was absolutely no problems with this child picking out the right colours whatsoever. That's that little problem solved...

However I'm still working on two very tiny ones though who are both definitely not quite with the programme and stick together like glue. I had an entire 2 hours today where I could call the entire class to me, explain the Rules, the class would all run off to prepare and I'd turn round and sure enough; those 2 would stil be sitting there on the floor huddled together stuffing twigs up their nose.

These children provide all the moments of hilarity in PE although more often than not when they are they having their little moments in another land they happen to be at the front of the line for the activity in hand and when you finally finally break them out of their trance they look at you go huh? Uh.... Aaaaggggghhhhhhhahahahaha and run off in completely the opposite direction. First couple of weeks my forehead was very red from the amount of times I'd slapped it with my own hand but now I know who is who and prepare for it by knowing their flight path (basically the exact opposite way to the rest of their classmates) so my shins are a bit bruised from acting as a crash barrier but it's working! Some kids I literally have to lead round by the hand even after I have demonstrated it several times and their other 20 classmates have done it before them and they can still stand their with a 'huh me? Well what do you want me to do?' expression.

Anyway back to dance workshops...this little space cadet was one of my students. If dance involved spinning round with your arms out and head lolling back for half an hour gazing at the ceiling then she'd have probably been super happy...but it doesn't and she wasn't. It's tough to leave a child crying when you really want to try and involve them and make it a positive experience, but I had 12 other children who all wanted to be there and so they had to come first!

It's always nice when at the end of the lesson though when you say it's finished and a room full of kids go oooooOOOOOoooooh start pouting and then throw themselves at you for a hug.

It's a lovely school the children here are children. They scratch around the playground like free range chickens scratching around their paddock, collecting insects and conkers and leaves... (I'm actually talking about the children again here not chickens that was merely a visual reference). They play conkers, they play marbles, British bulldog is not banned and the biggest craze out here right now is something called beyblades which are basically, wait for this, spinning tops. SPINNING TOPS! I mean seriously??? They have interchangeable heads and compatible parts which make them more efficient at spinning...I was a bit fixed by this initially but now I think it's quite lovely. It's great to see children being children.

Anyways back to the days of the week, the medical was Thursday and also at the end of the day was our meeting regarding the England trip. This is happening next April and I am one of the staff accompanying the children to Bristol/bath for a week so a meeting was held to let the parents know what is happening with it. I am very excited at the prospect of this trip although know it is going to be damned tiring and it'll be hard being so close yet so far from all my family and friends! But I still cannot believe I have this job! 2 of the French teachers are going but otherwise it's me, Michelle and Christian. I LOVE these guys they are brilliant one thing I'll never ever discuss here though is the conversations we have in the classroom. Asides Christians seriously bad jokes we have a warped sense of humour. Now I know how teachers cope with the stresses of their jobs, you gotta have that slightly sick sense of humour to cope! But I couldn't ask to work with two better people they are simply awesome. I think sometimes it's illegal to laugh so much in a workplace. Long may it continue.

Anyway it is now Friday and I have a crazy weekend ahead of me with the aforementioned sitting.

Just taken a break from writing this to feed the chicks, do their waters, check on the chickens, water the new lawn and have some dinner.

All peaceful here.



Good night John boy xxx

Ne pas rentrer de la nuit: to stay out all night.

Well I'm writing this as my last will and testament. I'm shattered. I had the most amazing weekend and then today I had a long day as I had a full day teaching PE and then I had to teach English and then I had to teach drama and then... It was 5pm and I'd finished. Phew. I have this all week now as my drama and dance classes have started on top of my sports amd english lessons. But drama was particularly tough as it was at the end of the day with a bunch of children that didn't particularly want to be there and who didn't especially want to listen either, least of all to someone not speaking in their native Tongue. The chattiest kids on the planet and some of the ones who listen the least.... I had them. It wasn't easy, I think Arnie in kindergarten cop style I'm gonna get a whistle as I'm not totally sure my voice will hold out till Christmas haha ;)

Anyways sooooo back to the weekend, Which was epic. I got up crack of dawn Saturday morning, got the bus to Disney, jumped on the RER and headed into Paris. 45 minutes later I came up blinking in to the sunlight at the arc de triomphe and already it was a glorious morning!



Last time I walked out of this RER station was new years January 2009 and it was BITTER Paris is horrendously cold in winter and so I was well wrapped up, everything except my eyes and I remember thinking that if I had a pair I'd have been wearing goggles. I'm shocked my eyes didn't freeze open!

The day I'm talking about...



Anyway Even though today was a blazingly hot and sunny morning (weather was amazing last week) as I stepped off the RER and started the ascent to street level...it was STILL blowing a bitter gale through the tunnels so I'm guessing it's just standard. Tip: If you ever need to disembark at the CDG Etoile stop; wrap up warm!!!

The RER journey itself in was fine though! I keep hearing all these amusing and horrific stories from Michelle and Christian in the mornings about the crazy people they've encountered on their way in (from Christian with the guy who threw up down himself to Michelle sitting next to a woman on the train who was enjoying the ride a little TOO much if you get me!!) but it was very uneventful for me and very pleasant (which as Michelle put i when I told her; if there were no crazies in the carriage maybe you are the crazy). I sat there iPod on and remembered the last time I was on this train, iPod on and heading into paris was after my job interview only this time on this morning I was smiling, as opposed to the last time when I was hiding behind my hair so no one else could see the stupid fact I was actually crying (yeah okay on that occasion it's fair to say I was the crazy). Crying because I didn't know what the hell to do! (if you are new to my blog please go back and read the first ever entry and add your own flashback music).

I'm smiling because this IS what I wanted after all. Yes it could all have gone horribly wrong, still could but right now 1 month in it's best case scenario and better than I could have imagined it.

Rent came on whilst I was musing over this and the words to the song;

"I can't control, my destiny, I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be"

How true.

I had actually come into Paris early to pop to the orange store on the champs élysées prior to meeting my friends in Montmartre at 10am for the France vs NZ match, however as this is Paris I discovered the shop doesn't open until 12 on Saturday's. Welcome to France. They only work when they have to and this doesn't really include all of saturday, at all on Sunday, or Monday (to make up for the 4 hour inconvenience they endure Saturday's) or where possible Wednesday's either... No I'm not kidding in fact there's a word for it here if a sign says 12pm (and something that sounds like 'plis'!) It means on the dot. I've never experienced it myself but I guarantee if 12pm came and you were still in the line waiting to be served you'd be packed out the door!

Anyway I had a good hour odd to kill so I wandered into the only place open for a coffee on the champs at that time ... Macdonalds. Well this wasn't Macdonalds as I knew it , it was also a Mccafe!! So not only did it have fancy interior decor



It also had fancy cakes



And a fancy entrance spelling out where you are and decked with cool stools so you could sit and view the champs élysées whilst you had your coffee which I duly did



I'm also really shocked to say it was one of the nicest coffees I have ever had! You want a good cappuccino? Seriously go to Maccy D's I kid you not.

So post Maccy's I hopped back on line 2 at CDG Etoile and headed to place de clichy at Montmartre to meet my friends at the French Flair Rugby bar there. However the French were already there in their droves and were even standing out in the street to watch the screen!



So we headed over to the Irish bar and whilst we couldn't get inside, they had set up an extra area outside!

Yup we were a fair way back...



It was great to watch even though French played so badly but it was a brilliant atmosphere and all the French joined in the national anthem at the beginning so it was awesome to be in the crowd, we were even given free drinks and being an Irish bar you were served by a genuine Irish guy who delighted us saying 'tats turteen fifty please' aaah funny as hell. The other amusement of the morning was the fact there was a slight time delay on the screen we were watching it in so the difference from the screens inside the pub to where we were sat was about 3 seconds. Enough for us to wonder why everyone in the bar suddenly went mental then 3 seconds later France got a try in. Later it helped saved the suspense over the kick France took. As they lined up the ball to take the kick on our screen the crowd inside the bar let us know they scored...

Post match we set a time to all meet up again ahead of the evenings show at the stade de France we had tickets for and I wandered off to enjoy Montmartre. Before I left the house I dived into my box of cards that provide you with mini self guided Paris tours one of my clients bought me as a leaving pressie and picked up 3 for the Montmartre area so off I went but first I went for a wander around Montmartre cimitière. I last visited this place in early 2009 and it's so peaceful! Although Parisian graveyards do have a massive over crowding issue, it's not so much the amount of dead but there insistency on large and exotic mausoleums to remember them by.

Crowd control issues:



It even has it's own avenues







Nijinskys beautiful resting place



So morbidness done I took off with my cards!

Which took me past lots of little boutiques and fancy shops full of mouth watering goodies. Eiffel tower cheese anyone?



up beautiful side streets



Past the rue de galette



To the famous 'Lapin Agile', built in the 1800's the cabaret club was initially set up to disrupt plans for more housing in the area. The haunt of several famous bohemian artists such as Toulouse lautrec and Picasso who spent many a boozy absinthe filled night here singing away and to this day It still is as it was then, entertainment and all.



located right opposite the only remaining vineyard on la butte



Before I wound my way back through place du tertre (particularly heaving with tourists today) to the sacre coeur where i stopped after all that walking to relax and take in the view



And enjoy the sound of live Parisian jazz floating through the air to accompany my lunch. Perfect afternoon in Paris.



All that is missing is......



Ah there she is. Beautiful as always :)

I had a lot of time to think today and write, I had taken my little notebook with me as writing is like my therapy, when I'm on my own I take a notebook. I also sat and read back through some of my last entries in it. I love writing it helps me escape, offload and voice things I cannot say and sometimes I read them back and sometimes I can't. Whenever I used to have clients who were troubled I always recommended they kept a notebook to write in. Often I'd buy them one as a pressie and encourage them to use it and say you don't have to ever read it back, you may not want to, one day you might, no one else needs ever see this you do with the words as you choose, but I know the power of doing so. I'm so grateful I do this myself.

This particular notebook was the one I had taken to Rome with me. In 2010 I went on a solo holiday post marriage break up to coincide with my wedding anniversary as I couldn't face being in the UK for that date. That holiday saved my life.

As I sat reading through the notes about how sad i was, how scared, I came across a sentence about how I realised I was in the true grip of depression and needed to do something about it but depression is like a bunch of silent ties holding you down when you really need to get off your ass.

This really shocked me as I knew I was down through that period of my life but I had never admitted that to my nearest and dearest and don't ever remember admitting it to myself but there it was in black ink. My life is a world away from that right now, I sometimes worry if I'm doing okay but wow even if I had a lonely day lately it's never THAT bad.

A few short weeks before in the March of 2010 I truly thought my life was over. Pointless. I didn't want to live anymore. If I'd been a more selfish individual believe me I'd have done something about it but I'm not, so I didn't and thank god.

Its always nice to have proof for future reference that when things don't appear to be going your way that there absolutely WILL be a brighter day.

Its good to be able to look back at that and know my life wasn't even remotely over, it was only just beginning.

As the day was drawing on I had agreed to meet everyone at Cafe Oz at 7pm. Chris had said to meet at pigalle stop which confused everyone no end as cafe Oz is at Blanche stop (the next metro stop along it's a pretty short distance thankfully...) he's meant to live here! Ha.

Bonjour Moulin Rouge! At the Blanche station.



I arrived first but i had to leave and detour for a little bit as got accosted by some French dude who didn't speak much English, I was friendly enough, happily told him I taught sport. This apparently gave him an open invitation to try to feel my stomach apparently to see how flat it was. I was not amused. This was followed by wanting to see and test the bicep muscle however he wasn't going to let go of my arm. He asked if I boxed, I mimed kick boxing was my specialty and demonstrated I could raise my leg to funnily enough his crotch height at lightening speed and then made my exit. French guys are a bit pushy I'm finding. In England at least you can ignore blokes if they're trying to catch your eye but here I so far discovered this weekend if you ignore them and keep your head down they'll just come over and put themselves in your eyeline, even if you are looking at the floor (I kid you not) also they'll find ANY excuse to touch you (if they aren't testing your muscles they go to give you a full body hug) "ah sa eeenglish guuurl you air funnyyyyyyyy" huuuuuuuuugs, or they'll just tell you you are beautiful and focus all their attention on your mouth whilst you are tying to talk to them (body language hint for a kiss no. 1 in psychology of flirting, google it if you don't believe me the 'look at their mouth' tactic!)

I find it a bit sleazy.

I was even less down with the guy who walked his wheelie bin in front of me when I was walking down one road and when I went to step round him he reversed it and blocked me that way also... After the third blockage I told him very politely in French to f*** off. It doesn't feel like swearing if you say it in another language :)

I just know my dad will be reading this and having kittens...dad I'm fine I can handle it. Trust me my best friends know the man is going to come off far worse ;)

So so far French men opinion is to all of you that said 'go find yourself a nice French boyfriend' well if this is the bench mark then the names Jones, Bridget (Mlle) and perfectly happy that way! Even though I am missing hugs but find me a person that doesn't.

Oh and a quick after thought; Sorry Zoe I leave exception of the rule for Thierry you got lucky!

So French men disaster aside we all met up at cafe Oz and had a quick drink before we headed to the stade de France and tried to sandwich in as many awful camelot jokes into our sentences as possible ('I hope they don't do Arthur a job with this show', 'I think we have heard merlin enough' 'if someone frequents a place would you say they camelot') I'm not even going to go on it's painful just to type it so I think that's 'Morgan le fay're share. Such geeks.

Anyways we went to the stade de France and WOW what a venue and what a show! The tickets we had were free from a friend who is an employee at le stade so we didn't know what to expect but we all bundled away saying the same thing; it was simply amazing!

The stade du France Post show so you can see it properly!



I got some pics of the production unfortunately my amazing ones I can't get off my camera as can't find the lead so just got the ones I took with my iPhone:

The set



Awesome lighting!



Jousting ready to commence!



The round table



Major battle scenes and pyromaniacs dream!





I wouldn't know where to start in explaining it, the stunts were incredible, the jousting was fun with the stade separated into different houses (Cornwall, Scotland, Wales...) we were in Scotland on the yellow team so got to chant

"allez jeune" or " GO YELLOW!" if you like

Then after Arthurs victory at jousting against Lancelot (my mate Christian loses points here for yelling "don't do it mate he's going to have your missus...")

the crowd cheered and chanted

"vive le roi!"

no one has said THAT in France for a very long time...

There was magic, fire, birds of prey, doves, trick riding, and the most incredible battle scene where flaming balls and arrows were fired into the air and across the stadium like a scene from a movie! (think Robin Hood Prince of Thieves) incredible, lighting, sound and I think possibly the piece de resistance was the rider and horse circling the stage enveloped in fire an incredible stunt. Mario Luraschi had once again trained the horses (last years spectacle was Ben Hur) and this man can get the horses to do anything for him including ride around covered in flames. A legend.

It's almost sad to think all that work and it was only on for 2 nights and will never be seen again I feel the rest of the world missed out on something special there!

Post show frivolities more fun started. I had toyed with catching the last train home but instead we decided to all go for one drink somewhere and then... We decided to see just how late we could stay out as we were far too awake and the night was far from over. So someone said 'lets just stay out til the trains start again!" Now I have stayed out late in London but generally places shut at 4am and then a trip to mcdonalds, a kebab house or noodle stop and a night bus ride home later and it's 6am and you are turning the key in the door. We hopped on the metro to St Michel and then that was it, i smiled as we wandered over the seine at the ile de cité and glanced across to Notre Dame (lights were off though as it was super late by now) as for at least the 6th time today i was finally viewing this place as a resident which i am not to take for granted! Then the next time I looked at my watch it was 3am, then it was 6am and we were hearing the 5th last order bell of the night! We had literally gone from place to place all night and the time flew past! I don't remember half of what we talked about, I do vaguely remember Michelle and Richard giving me a crash course in French on 'before, after, next, near, far..' god knows why those phrases and I knew I certainly wouldn't remember it the next day. Show offs :) the entertainment raged on thought and There was even live music in the last bar, the guys were playing a random selection of rock and jazz and at one point jingle bells...let's not go there.... It was however still dark so I grabbed a couple of hours sleep at my friends house and then headed back home.


In the UK when you are going home the day after the night before it is known as the walk of shame.

Yep I used to delight in spotting these tired looking creatures on a Sunday still dressed in clearly the same clothes they went out in last night who were just making their way back. Today it was me. Which is fine until you are stood at the bus stop at Disneyland then it feels wholly wrong. Especially standing there watching all the happy joyous families tripping off on their day of innocent fun and adventure and I'm there partaking in the walk of shame. Sorry Walt.

Needless to say Sunday I was shattered and very reluctantly had to turn down a game of golf over at Disneyland with Shawn Sunday night and had kept myself awake all day on purpose (to sleep would have been stupid!) so I spent the day planning the weeks lessons for PE and as of next week the 4 extra workshops a week I do starting with the drama that I had today are kicking in of an evening so I had to get that straight.

I decided 8pm was a perfectly acceptable bed time. Epic epic epic weekend.

Kxx

Ps. If you think you are having a really s*** time with your life right now... Get a notebook :)